STEF DAG

"Oh heeeey! I didn't even recognize you!" “Oh, yeah maybe cuz I have diabetes now.” “Maura? Oh my god, SO weird to see you on the subway.” “Yeah...I...ride it sometimes.” “What?” “I said I ride it.” “We should grab a drink one day!” “When’s good for you? I’m busy.” “I didn’t even—” “I know. I don’t want to.” “So are you still dating Adam?” “No.” “Ok, just making sure because we’ve been fucking.” “So did you go to the inauguration protests on Saturday?” “LOL. Of course not.” “

Wheat-less alternatives to all your favorite romance-inducing concoctions! Repeatedly find ways at brunch to bring up how much of a “boys’ girl” you are. No need to explain what this means, but extra points for mentioning you never got along with girls growing up! *Sprinkle coconut oil and cyanide on his eggs benedict* Make his bed in the morning. When he says, “My mom used to say the first girl who makes my bed is the girl I should marry,” shrug it off. Quietly mention that

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