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Weekly Headlines

"Percocet, Molly, Percocet": No, I'm not Singing the Lyrics to "Mask Off," I'm Trying to Tell Someone I Need Help

Stuck in the Past: Girl Can't Stop Writing "2016" on all her Assignment Dates And Telling Everyone About it

We Went to Hoo-Ville and it's Totally Gentrified Now

"Job's a Joke, You're Broke, You Fucking Loser": Friends Theme Song Has a Whole New Meaning for Down-on-their-Luck, Clinically Depressed Millennials

Spotting Astrological Patterns in Your Cellulite and What it Means About Your Less-then Average Personality

"Their, They're, and There": Shut the Fuck up, Erin, Your Comp-Lit Degree Won't Get You Anywhere

*PRODUCT OF THE WEEK* Gentle Gentrification: Like a Laxative, but Creates Movements In Poor Neighborhoods, and by Movements We Mean We're Kicking People Out for You Whitey <3

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